I Have A Lot To Say...

I have a lot to say about 5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed), but it boils down to this:

Yup, exactly.

I always talk about how you need to have a plan for the zombie apocalypse. One very important thing to realize is that this plan should never, EVER, include the words "When it happens I will go to (x) and get (y)," unless (x) is "a room in my house," and even then what if this all happens while you're at work?

Read the article, let me know what you think? Do you disagree with any of their points? I'd love to know why.

Video

I haven't had much time lately, but I'm saving up some links and ideas to share. I'll get around to interesting zombie survival thoughts when I can, but in the mean time enjoy The Pilosophical Zombie Slayer.

Oh Yeah, Great Idea....

Idolizing zombies isn't really a good idea, but maybe the theme bar (yes, this is a story about a zombie theme bar) will encourage good conversation about what people would really do if zombies started popping up.

Of course when the zombies do come, the people in that bar aren't going to realize until too late that it's not some kind of publicity stunt.

Okay, Not The End of the World, But...

Now, LEGO is getting in on the action. That's right, you too can own LEGO Zombies, and LEGO hatchets for cutting off their heads (or destroying their brains).

So remember, parents, use these teaching tools properly. "Okay Timmy, remember, THIS is how you destroy a zombie. Use the hatchet to take off their head. Good!"

Zombie Math: Survival Proof

A few days ago it was reported that some young men had published a scientific, mathematical paper entitled, When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection, and I've been trying to figure out what to say since then.

It's a real paper, widely linked by popularity sites like Asylum.com, and scientific zines like Wired.

I shouldn't have waited long, but I wanted to make sure I thoroughly read the paper and understood it well before going into it. Basically, it all comes down to math, and has to do with mortality rates, and how we're all screwed.

Seriously, that's pretty much what it says: If there's a zombie outbreak, and we don't contain it fast, we're all going to die. I don't necessarily agree with this outcome, but their math is (hard to understand) perfect, and can't (can) be refuted.

Basically their paper boils down to (read: I'm dumbing it down for ME here):

ZOMBIE BAD. KILL FAST.

I can get behind that message.

Zombie Survival: Redux

This is you, as seen by a zombie. A hunk of delicious meat, wrapped in bacon, sprinkled with delicious seasoning, and slow cooked for hours.

Imagine you're starving, you've been starving for days, and you just NEED to eat. Now imagine you see this delicious meal walk by.

You would do anything to get your hands on that, wouldn't you?

Well, then it goes and boards itself up in its home (apparently you can board up a crockpot really well; who knew?), and now you have to try to wait it out, or get in to it. It's right there! You just need to get to it! Nothing will stop you. It. Will. Be. Eaten.

They'll keep coming. Nothing will stop them. They'll push in the windows, smash down the doors. They want your bacon-wrapped-pork-goodness.

You need to know how to stop them. How to get away. How to find your own bacon while they try to come for yours.

I'm going to try to show you how.

Repurpose

I'm still out of shape, but I could outrun a Romero zombie. 24 Days Later zombies would probably destroy me in a quick fashion, so I have to work on speed and evasion, but distance is coming along. My overall speed is next on the list; once I can jog an entire 3 miles within half an hour I plan on adding a little bit more speed each workout and pushing myself to go faster.

The shelter is fairly well prepared to withstand an outbreak. Boarding material for all windows and items for blocking all the doors are on hand and easy to get to, including long screws to help hold in the wood. If we have enough time before the outbreak spreads here too much, we have enough wood to barricade each window from the outside and the inside; a precaution I suggest everybody take, as this will lessen the possibility of a horde of zombies simply pressing so hard that they pop out the entire window frame, through your indoor fortifications.

I'm still working on food. Water, we're good. Food, not so much. Every trip to the store gets a little more put in my pantry, another item toward the list of food needed to survive for a year. Right now we have enough for several weeks and we have to continuously rotate the stock so there's no spoilage; this is a big project.

Everything's moving along, and I'm more ready every day than I was the day before.

Are you ready for when the Outbreak comes?